Fear

I received a 'preliminary diagnosis" a few weeks ago. it's for a progressive illness that manifests in ways I prefer to not get into.  I've face AIDS, addiction, a stroke, a dozen broken bones, death of my father, divorce and what not.  This maybe just another stumbling block on my journey to the world. Regardless fear sets in.  

Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will allow my fear to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone I will turn my inner eye to see its path. And where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." (From Frank Herbert's Dune)

Make It Yours

My longest online friend Derrick, reminded me of saying simple mantras

Here's one of his.    What daily mantra do you use?

Master the day, and do that every day

Turning Point

July 12 was an odd day to say the least.   So much happened the past few days and July 12 holds a special meaning to me.  It was major turning point when I said to Khalid "I do"

Returning to work Monday July 8 I learned of two clients passing.

The new job still is new with related challenges, demands and such

I finally put in papers to the evil IMRF to get full retirement
. The benefit wont take effect for another year but there are deadlines to follow.

I feel that I'm at yet another turning point where life is getting better.

Are there turning points in your life you are celebrating or fearing?  I hope you take the best turn

  

Move on

I was supposed to be a date. Just a date, one that turned out badly and from what i can guess based on looks. 

I know I'm not the sexiest or most handsome guy around and neither was he.  Thankfully the 'date' ended abruptly.   

Nothing ventured: noting gained, right?


Still I'll ask someone one else out.  Keep moving on

Wreckage of Our Past

One way cool thing about working where i do i hear the wisest things.  Although this is from a big book, well "The Big Book" when a person says this I take head

"We cannot run from the wreckage of our past"   I add "and yet I choose to not let that wreckage reappear."

We (remember in my blog I am writing to you my audience while writing to me) all have made mistakes. Some small ones, some "OH SHOOT" ones.     I know I've learned from them and hopefully learned what to do or not do in the future.  

Lets think about those doozies we've had and then know your still here. The world did not end.   The wreckage happens and I acknowledge it.  I wont deny but let it go.

Do you  hold onto your wreckage?  

Your Story

Everyone has their own narrative 

I have my own glorious story of life, I love who I am and can live/share that life and it's story

Step Out

Without going into details I followed  Lady Macbeth's advice " Screw your courage to the sticking point and we'll not fail"

It means my daily routine will be well, routine. I have a regular starting and ending time. 
Sure I'm scared with all the changes that means from moving from daily freedom to actually being responsible to show up and do what I agreed to do with people I'm liking.

Have you made a major change or changes that seem frightening?