Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Please Me?

People are going to hate you no matter what you do.
No matter what you do in this life there is always going to be someone out there who disagrees with you or hates you. You simply cannot please everyone! Be the best version of yourself every day, and if you do that, you have nothing to worry about.
I try to keep a fresh perspective. There is a good thing ahead and it's closer than I can imagine. I'd rather please me than please you

Wednesday, June 21, 2017


I was watching a video blog called "Does your relationship have a motto?"
The idea of a motto or more actually a way to make it work such a a business model

I like that and realized that's something I missed in my marriage (20/20 hindsight)

Not being 100% sure how to write a 'business model' for a relationship I looked for resources or quotes. I like this one

Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. Don’t over-analyse your relationships. Stop playing games. A growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness.
          Leo F. Buscaglia

Looking back the motto I'd choose with my ex husband would be "Trust more, share more, love often."

Think about this in other relationships: with friends, family, co workers, neighbors etc

What will be your motto?

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Don't Worry

I recently heard some one offer support after a break up "You seem to be worrying about someone who isn't worried about you."   I replaced "worried" with "thinking" and get the same response

No longer will I allow someone from my past influence my future.  He's well into the past and I'm certain he's not worrying about me.

From jobs, friends, relationships, etc: when it's over, let it go - odd are they already have

Monday, May 8, 2017

What if

I used to say "once I earn..." or "when I finish.." or even "once this is over I'll.."

Why keep waiting?  How many times have we/I heard "live for the moment?  

Let that moment be now!!  

A friend of mine is in prison and he recently shared "I spent the day as usual, made tea, meditated, worked the program (he's in AA).  He has a release date yet never says "when i'm out I'll.." He lives for each day, seeks good out of his situation.

There's times I felt like I was in a prison where I let situations dictate my actions and progress.

No more "what if's for me." I see a need for change, for growth and I jump on it.

Let's leap, that leap of faith, and drop our what ifs

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Not Weakness

I read this after talking with someone who's break up is difficult. Thus the name "BREAK up"

Have you faced difficulties only to feel like a failure? I know I have. It's my self affirming life that keeps me going.   I hope my friend doesn't give up and neither will I..  Are you in for trying one more time, too?

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.

 Thomas A. Edison

Tuesday, April 25, 2017


Lately I've been "beating myself up" for making major life changes and it got me to think "I'm not worth..."
To heck with that! I am and you are worth goodness, happiness and love

I was reading in The Body about self hate/self love

"What if I make a mistake and embarrass myself?" "Maybe I could have done it before, but it's too late now." "I'll never be able to do it, so what's the point of trying?" Everyone hears negative "voices" in their heads

love That was ME to a point until while chatting with a friend it hit me "I am worth all the good things I plan"

As an almost 55 yr old queer man living with HIV and 17 yrs sober I foolishly thought "who would love me?"  

I do!  I love me. I adore the struggles I've had, set backs and more so the gains in life

I adore me and you too

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Moving On

Have you  had "one of those days?"  Well I've been having "one of those days" for three weeks.

Without going into detail the two words that resonate CONSTANT CHANGES fill my angst

People have passed on, classes changed, a new doctor, rejection email, major house repairs, etc

Thank goodness I have a decent therapist to go over details yet small changes build up.

Last night I attend a concert where Aaron Copeland's "Fanfare for Common Man" was played two times.   That is one piece of music that brings peace to my confusion. Twice that performed Fanfare.

It helped me concrete a few decisions and I'm ready to move on.   Join me on moving on too please

Let's lets fear, confusion, other peoples ignorance not hold us/me back