Sunday, December 31, 2017

Still New

On the dawn of a new/fresh calendar year it's often a time to resolve that we'll do something new

One common theme we've shared via this Affirming Message blog is "I can start new each day"

In keeping with that concept my New Years resolution is to tell myself

There is good in me and I will express it, share goodness with others

Saturday, December 2, 2017

Dress Up, Show Up

Simple idea to keep spirit fresh,  thanks Christopher for inspiration

Dress up, show up, and be the best version of yourself you can be in any and all situations.

 Sacrifice leads to success and when it comes time to reap the rewards you’ll be able to enjoy the harvest of your hard work 

When I feel blue, down in dumps, I read then re read this to live it 


Tuesday, October 31, 2017

first words

So what were your "first words" spoken today? 

Lets be on a challenge to speak our desires with faith, to speak in a prophetic way that unleashes the good that awaits us. to start the day by setting your course for those amazing moments that await you, with spoken words claiming your highest and best

Friday, October 20, 2017

Not Usually

One of my employers recently hired someone who, after one week quit. The reason, a what could be a better job came up.

A few of us know this other workplace and know we pay better wages with consistency

I'll admit to having " the best thing" while looking to see if i could do/be better.

Ever been there? Could be the car you bought, a shirt, etc

Im choosing to be comfortable with my choices

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

At Peace

Shootings, hurricanes, deaths, starvation, flooding, angst.  The past several weeks these themes have been prevalent. If I live in fear of these, if I speak out, if I...

I'm angry with the powers at be are not capable of helping for reasons beyond understanding

Peoples lives are affected in ways I can only imagine leaving my soul uneasy

Reinhold Niebuhr wrote in 1951 a statement/prayer that has taken a life of its own bringing peace to many

 God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

This Serenity prayer offers acceptance, acceptance and hope,  To me it brings peace to my anger

To me, perhaps to us it means PEACE.   I, we are to be PEACE MAKERS to our selves and others

peacemaker--One who has the ability to say "peace" to the turbulent waves of thought and have them obey. A peacemaker is one who reduces to peace and harmony all the thoughts of strife, anger, and retaliation in his own mind

Ill focus on being a peace maker to calm my angst and anger,  Can you join me?

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Be Silly

There's times when humor is needed, with laughter as a release of joy, lets try to just be silly

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Please Me?

People are going to hate you no matter what you do.
No matter what you do in this life there is always going to be someone out there who disagrees with you or hates you. You simply cannot please everyone! Be the best version of yourself every day, and if you do that, you have nothing to worry about.
I try to keep a fresh perspective. There is a good thing ahead and it's closer than I can imagine. I'd rather please me than please you

Wednesday, June 21, 2017


I was watching a video blog called "Does your relationship have a motto?"
The idea of a motto or more actually a way to make it work such a a business model

I like that and realized that's something I missed in my marriage (20/20 hindsight)

Not being 100% sure how to write a 'business model' for a relationship I looked for resources or quotes. I like this one

Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. Don’t over-analyse your relationships. Stop playing games. A growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness.
          Leo F. Buscaglia

Looking back the motto I'd choose with my ex husband would be "Trust more, share more, love often."

Think about this in other relationships: with friends, family, co workers, neighbors etc

What will be your motto?

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Don't Worry

I recently heard some one offer support after a break up "You seem to be worrying about someone who isn't worried about you."   I replaced "worried" with "thinking" and get the same response

No longer will I allow someone from my past influence my future.  He's well into the past and I'm certain he's not worrying about me.

From jobs, friends, relationships, etc: when it's over, let it go - odd are they already have

Monday, May 8, 2017

What if

I used to say "once I earn..." or "when I finish.." or even "once this is over I'll.."

Why keep waiting?  How many times have we/I heard "live for the moment?  

Let that moment be now!!  

A friend of mine is in prison and he recently shared "I spent the day as usual, made tea, meditated, worked the program (he's in AA).  He has a release date yet never says "when i'm out I'll.." He lives for each day, seeks good out of his situation.

There's times I felt like I was in a prison where I let situations dictate my actions and progress.

No more "what if's for me." I see a need for change, for growth and I jump on it.

Let's leap, that leap of faith, and drop our what ifs

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Not Weakness

I read this after talking with someone who's break up is difficult. Thus the name "BREAK up"

Have you faced difficulties only to feel like a failure? I know I have. It's my self affirming life that keeps me going.   I hope my friend doesn't give up and neither will I..  Are you in for trying one more time, too?

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.

 Thomas A. Edison

Tuesday, April 25, 2017


Lately I've been "beating myself up" for making major life changes and it got me to think "I'm not worth..."
To heck with that! I am and you are worth goodness, happiness and love

I was reading in The Body about self hate/self love

"What if I make a mistake and embarrass myself?" "Maybe I could have done it before, but it's too late now." "I'll never be able to do it, so what's the point of trying?" Everyone hears negative "voices" in their heads

love That was ME to a point until while chatting with a friend it hit me "I am worth all the good things I plan"

As an almost 55 yr old queer man living with HIV and 17 yrs sober I foolishly thought "who would love me?"  

I do!  I love me. I adore the struggles I've had, set backs and more so the gains in life

I adore me and you too

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Moving On

Have you  had "one of those days?"  Well I've been having "one of those days" for three weeks.

Without going into detail the two words that resonate CONSTANT CHANGES fill my angst

People have passed on, classes changed, a new doctor, rejection email, major house repairs, etc

Thank goodness I have a decent therapist to go over details yet small changes build up.

Last night I attend a concert where Aaron Copeland's "Fanfare for Common Man" was played two times.   That is one piece of music that brings peace to my confusion. Twice that performed Fanfare.

It helped me concrete a few decisions and I'm ready to move on.   Join me on moving on too please

Let's lets fear, confusion, other peoples ignorance not hold us/me back

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

New Energy

Being newly single I've been using "online" dating to find what appears at times, the elusive

What to write about myself is more than my fear on these sites and even IN PERSON

I know what won't work is putting down others, limiting expectations, shaming others, using phrases like "UB2" or "No fems, etc"     I write about the good things that stir my spirit

I/we can apply this to most of our lives.  Let's remove negative comments from our speech and they'll be gone from our thoughts.  Not an easy task but one that can be achieved

Monday, April 3, 2017

My Story

I heard at a workshop this past weekend
"My history is not a blunt instrument"

My mistakes are mine. I own my addiction. I own my health issues. I own my foolish investment mistakes

I am fully aware of the past I led while focusing 100% on a great future.  

Please don't hold me or anyone else to a past when that past was a teaching experience.

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Inhale Goodness

Right now in the USA there is so much angst over political issues. We're a country strongly divided

Odd that while at work Wednesday I heard someone from Mexico as he exited customs after a cruise "I LOVE AMERICA"

I am  going to breath in his excitement in all things and exhale the bullshit

You can too. Trust me this will help us all feel better

Friday, March 10, 2017

Slow down

We've all heard "stop and smell the roses"   Easier said that done you/i may think. With so much going on it's best to keep abreast of the latest, the most unusual, the unique.

Slow down, breath and accept the world will still turn without our worry.

Since I work from home a lot, being a student does that I find having soft music on in background slows down the busy sounds of where I live.

No TV right before bed. That ones's harder but oh so worth it.

Talk with friends, NO TEXTING or tweeting.  Call or see in person those we want to share or joys with.

Slow down, enjoy the simple

Monday, March 6, 2017

Negative Voices

Ignore the Negative Noises

Lately I've been feeling a bit down in the dumps. A few things have happened at work to make me feel like nothing’s going my way. Those thoughts can be overwhelming

I've learned a few tricks to overcome negativity I'll share here

  • Just because some of our thoughts are negative doesn’t mean we have to listen to them
  • The truth is, you are not your thoughts.

Most negative thoughts are not based on reality. So ask yourself, “Is that thought 100% true?” Usually this will help to break down the meaning of the thought.

Instead of finding ways to escalate the thought, do the opposite and look for ways to prove that the thought is not true.

You are not your thoughts. Resist the urge to beat yourself up when you catch yourself thinking negatively. Everyone has negative thoughts from time to time. Just be aware and choose not to listen to all of them so you can get on with living your life.

Monday, January 16, 2017


"The words of a wise man's mouth win him favor, but the lips of a fool consume him."

Did you really say that? Did I really say that?  

Words are wonderful, they are one of many ways people communicate, share ideas, express thoughts, lay out plans, sing songs, tell stories and teach.

When used express feelings they can evoke emotions.  The phrase "I love you" often emotes a joy

"I despise that image" often emotes angst. 

As a queer man I hear/read other queer folk using words against each other. Those same words that non queer people use against us.  Why use them?  Remember "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it"?  I do and really try to live by that idea

Let's all (yes that means me, too) think before speaking or acting. 

See how affirming with life and each other can be.  Use the power of words for good

Monday, January 9, 2017

Not Others

It's been six months since the divorce papers were signed.  Since then I've been back to seeking. Call it dating but for me it was/is testing waters. Blindly I forgot that I am full person of worth, just as you are. I re learned someone else idea or opinion of me is not mine.

Today's mantra, say it with me "No one but me defines my happiness, not others"

Thursday, January 5, 2017

succseed or not

When Wesley wrote "I don't care what you do... It's how you treat others" {paraphrased} I've tried to live by this.  We're all on different journeys, odd paths, roads less taken.  Someone you know is ill, someone else passed exams with high marks, someone else's bicycle broke down. Another won big $ in lottery.  These do change what's going on in my life, why worry?  
I'm not in competition with you, I'd rather support you on your journey. Hold you when down or celebrate the WOW things.  Bottom line, lets be happy together

Monday, January 2, 2017


We were talking about the new year, the old year, changes and expectations

I don't recall who said it but "Don't look at the hole, look at the whole donut"

That made sense . When I see what's around me and not just the immediate I know that there is more to be aware of, more to enjoy, more to savior

Let's look at what fills us with flavor, that whole donut