Choose for the Better

After being single a couple of years and honestly getting into dating I'm being wise in asking whom  i date.

And working in a recovery/respit  center I see those who made unpleasant choices in people they kept up with.   Its a reminder for me to choose wisely in any/all relationships

I do an inventory of people I allow into my  circle of care (read: friends).  Do you? You can   

Feellings

My husband passed nearly three years ago. I was reminded how hard he tried and succeed in knowing all my  relatives names and relationships. 

Christmas is a time to remember where Christiantiy sprouted: from the birth of God as human

Share peace

Share peace, not discord, wherever you go.
I'm not saying this in a Christmas season since it's good practice always.

Please share in a comment how you share peace

That Simple: Say Thanks

Two words way underused are "Thank you."    They are a way to express appreciation and a way to build up someone for doing or being something good. 

When I say say 'thank you" to someone my endorphins rise as theirs does


Thank you  for reading my simple affirmations

gracias, danke dir, Je vous remercie, Спасибо, شكرا, آپ کا شکریہ

Toxic People

The day I learned how to be happy was when I stopped engaging with toxic people

A  local person does his/her best to cause consternation.   Those around this person often engage in the shenanigans.  I remind them to ignore this person and not engage conversation.  Those who have done this feel at ease.  

Yes it can be hard to implement but once done; freedom blossoms

Expanding Thinking

I work at a recovery center.  Not because i'm in recovery but because the overall company is good and it's programs are well run.   In my 23+ years of sobriety I have learned more than expected.

I am grateful for the new, fresh stories I hear.  I am honestly inspired here by the people.

Are there stories of situations that inspire you to Expand Thinking?

Lesson Learned

Two advanced degrees and I'm still not that bright; I tend to overthink and feel I am bigger/know more than I actually do.   Is it "addict thinking,"  white middle age privileged thinking or just plain arrogance. 

I learned that I am a cog in a big wheel and my ideas are though interesting, not applicable.   I'm back to the stage of learning and my  past though there is wisdom there is my past.   As of last Friday (Sept 27) I decided to be an architect


Ever feel like that? 

Not My Circus

I work with a guy who uses the phrase "Not my circus, not my monkeys" when something not his/our business comes up in discussions.

In other words, we don't build on gossip.  Sure juicy news can be enticing but it's often something I don't need to know or share

What phrases do you use to "Mind you own business?"

Fear

I received a 'preliminary diagnosis" a few weeks ago. it's for a progressive illness that manifests in ways I prefer to not get into.  I've face AIDS, addiction, a stroke, a dozen broken bones, death of my father, divorce and what not.  This maybe just another stumbling block on my journey to the world. Regardless fear sets in.  

Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will allow my fear to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone I will turn my inner eye to see its path. And where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." (From Frank Herbert's Dune)

Make It Yours

My longest online friend Derrick, reminded me of saying simple mantras

Here's one of his.    What daily mantra do you use?

Master the day, and do that every day

Turning Point

July 12 was an odd day to say the least.   So much happened the past few days and July 12 holds a special meaning to me.  It was major turning point when I said to Khalid "I do"

Returning to work Monday July 8 I learned of two clients passing.

The new job still is new with related challenges, demands and such

I finally put in papers to the evil IMRF to get full retirement
. The benefit wont take effect for another year but there are deadlines to follow.

I feel that I'm at yet another turning point where life is getting better.

Are there turning points in your life you are celebrating or fearing?  I hope you take the best turn

  

Move on

I was supposed to be a date. Just a date, one that turned out badly and from what i can guess based on looks. 

I know I'm not the sexiest or most handsome guy around and neither was he.  Thankfully the 'date' ended abruptly.   

Nothing ventured: noting gained, right?


Still I'll ask someone one else out.  Keep moving on

Wreckage of Our Past

One way cool thing about working where i do i hear the wisest things.  Although this is from a big book, well "The Big Book" when a person says this I take head

"We cannot run from the wreckage of our past"   I add "and yet I choose to not let that wreckage reappear."

We (remember in my blog I am writing to you my audience while writing to me) all have made mistakes. Some small ones, some "OH SHOOT" ones.     I know I've learned from them and hopefully learned what to do or not do in the future.  

Lets think about those doozies we've had and then know your still here. The world did not end.   The wreckage happens and I acknowledge it.  I wont deny but let it go.

Do you  hold onto your wreckage?  

Your Story

Everyone has their own narrative 

I have my own glorious story of life, I love who I am and can live/share that life and it's story

Step Out

Without going into details I followed  Lady Macbeth's advice " Screw your courage to the sticking point and we'll not fail"

It means my daily routine will be well, routine. I have a regular starting and ending time. 
Sure I'm scared with all the changes that means from moving from daily freedom to actually being responsible to show up and do what I agreed to do with people I'm liking.

Have you made a major change or changes that seem frightening? 

Intamacy

It's spring and I know people are feeling relationship oriented.  Goodness knows I've made errors in seeking 'beyond friendships" so I'll share a piece of wisdom I've learned (the HARD way)

Be honest!!  Not only speak the truth but live it.   Truth about who you/I am, background, expectations, etc.

For a bit about living your truth look for August Gold or read this
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-addiction-connection/201408/the-truth-will-set-you-free

Friends

I recently had a health scare and after talking to family, friends I added my usual prayer and meditation.  Today I got phone calls, text messages and such showing that I do have good friends.

That got me to think what makes a good friend?

Friends will come and go in your life, but more important than how long your friendships last is your friends’ acceptance of you for who you are. A good friend walks the talk and shows that they care by their actions – big and small.

How are you friends and who do you call or respond to ?

Surround Yourself

I finally saw "Black Panther" today and was taken aback as people said I would.
Dozens of lessons to be learned from it but for now, just for today I choose

“You are going to struggle, so you need to surround yourself with people you trust.”

This one makes a lot of sence as it builds on the theme I've been writing these past years. It's a lesson I keep needing to remind myself of. 

I'm glad  I surrounded myself with you.  Who do you surround yourself with?

Please comment in the box provided and we'll all surround each others wisdom

You, You, Your’s

Recently I sat in a seminar "What's your brand?" and it made me think: me-Robert H is a person with many strengths, beliefs, actions, knowledge, backstory and experiences.  Am I a product with a BRAND?   I looked up the word and found mostly business responses.  Yet one left me pondering.
On emotivebrand.com I read   

I like to think of the definition of Brand simply as “a promise”.  

All good and well but can I have a brand to identify ME?  I say YES.  My brand is Writer with honesty and thoughtfulness   Of course there is more to me like brother, son, queer, faith oriented and outgoing. 

Another way to look at a persons brand is their story, YOUR STORY.

One way to look at a persons brand, YOUR brand is to ask "what is it that makes you, you? What is your story"

Think about it and please comment in the box on this blog

Fit in or?

We grow up believing that in order to be happy, we need to belong somewhere – a society, a country, a social circle and finally, a family.. Yes that's a broad statement and one I don't often make.  For me it's partly true.  For me here's the hard part. The youngest of five children, I am the tallest and the only gay one.  Until my family aged I was the only one with a life challenging condition :HIV.

Leaving the cocoon of a close family to live in Southern Florida eight years ago set me farther apart.  I felt a NEED to seek out others like me: a man of faith queer and such.

Here I am on a Thursday evening, television off and alone and I'm OK with that. 

Happy with my sence of self is where I belong at this moment.

Where do you fit in in all of your challenges and changes?