Alaska

In 2000, I went way out on a limb, challenging my distance, hill, nay MOUNTAIN climbing ability and road  a bicycle over 500 mile raising at least $3,400 (I know I raised much more)

Why was that such a challenge?

Only four years earlier I had finished chemo therapy for lymphoma to participate in the Twin Cities>Chicago AIDS Rides.  

Those 500 miles with some exception were mostly flat through corn field of Wisconsin & Illinois.

Still using a heavy bike, not one of those skinny light weight racers, I rode into and through clouds, rain and amazing sites.

This week challenged friendships too but we all did it.  WE ALL DID IT.  There's a half dozen stories I'll tell you later about the time in Alaska surrounding the ride but not yet...

Remember, it's not about  ME but us, you and I - On this ride, after Day 1 snow befell the route and most riders couldn't even complete the second day. At night due to cold and wetness we'd huddle in the food tent.  Sipped hot cocoa together and in the day, road our bikes together.

Hey, it's Friday and for some of us PAYDAY.  Let's call it PAY AHEAD day and help me and my team, the Pride Pack get the totally flat 167 miles from Miami to Key West & help countless people with HIV

http://tiny.cc/RJRidesforAIDS

Reach Out

"You just call out my name

And you know wherever I am

I'll come running"

Ever have one of those days when you just needed a hand, some help?  So many times we/i hear 'buckle down & face your own fears" while other times WE need to seek help.  

That's when the word altruism comes to mind.  I  can offer help in terms of a caring word, financial support, a prayer & such.  Those gifts or skills we have can help others.

Seeing a need in ourselves to ask others though takes gumption an pluck.

Those are the times when we can and dare I say SHOULD follow the old Bell System commercial: "reach out touch someone"   A word, sage advise even a hug can help

It's when we offer a hand to help some one else, ,our own self gets lifted as well

Chuckles

No, not Chuckles the clown but but a touch of laughter each day is good for us.

A laugh causes a smile and we all know that phrase "It takes more muscles to frown so..."

Endorphin's are released when we laugh too and that natural high feels so good.

Just because I'm going through a tough spot right now, I know a good laugh or chuckle sure brightens my mood

Share a laugh, a smile or just chuckle

Serious

This ones on the serious side today (actually, all of my messages here are serious, affirming, 'good news' messages) but the past few days something has been weighing on my mind.

Sadly I'm not the only one going through this.  Each day the same thing happens to people all over the USA and elsewhere: that it hit me and I've been keeping  it pretty much to myself hasn't helped.

I lost my gosh darn good health insurance at the start of the month.  Thank goodness I have a full months of my HIV medicines and some good support around me (not that I've asked YET).

Having no insurance and needing medical care I applied for Ryan White funded help.   Ryan has helped me before so it's not shame but shock.

By "screwing my courage to the sticking place" and went through Central Intake.  Now in my line of work, I've been there before and sat through a few interviews but this was MY INTAKE and it hit home again

For this entire week, just like so many others, I'm at the mercy of case managers,new doctors, affordable insurance, etc.

The agency I've been assigned is one of the beneficiary's of the SMART ride so now, more than ever, this one IS about ME.    I NEED YOUR support since as in all of our lives, we're all in this together
Anything you give will go to help not just me but hundreds of others since 100% of all money raised goes right to work (we, the SMART ride committee covers overhead other ways)

https://www.thesmartride.org/8/pledge/pages/223/

Me at Ryan White's grave 

Other than

Just as I hit "create a new entry" and typed in the title, this song came to mind: it's from Sesame Street (the voice of innocence and learning). The song is "One of These Things is Not Like the Others"

Three of these kids belong together

Three of these kids are kind of the same

But one of these kids is doing his (her) own thing

Now it's time to play our game

It's time to play our game. 

Through my eyes I see a world full of hate, racism, and prejudice.

In my dreams I see a world full of love, equality and acceptance. 

It is up to me and you; US to ensure these worlds will collide. This can only be accomplished by learning to embrace diversity. In order to embrace and appreciate it though, we must realize its importance

I'm a gay man, HIV positive & white while my friends are not the same.  Sure it's easy (could also mean LAZY) to keep my friends who are like me.   I did a quick check of my Facebook friends and woot: 

Let me tell you, the Untied Colors of Benneton doesn't come close.

They run full pallet of race, age, size, ethnicity, back ground, economic status, etc.

Heck, the person who said to me today, "It's not about me: I enjoy your blog"out of the blue isn't a facebook friend or some one I recognize: one of  the few people who do read this AND Remember

When I worked at a zoo outside Chicago I honestly think I had a girl friend.  A female emu would greet me at the fence,   I've even seen her run to me when my tram stopped by.  

I LOVE YOU for being YOU, not because you and I look alike, live alike, eat the same kinds of foods but because we are NOT the same. 

Who do you embrace & call FRIEND?

Amends

Just because this is coming out right before a Sunday I'll clarify, this is about amends, not Amen!!!

From amende, a French word (more accurately  Middle French) to make repairs when used in today's message, it's about sharing our/MY mistakes and seeking forgiveness.

Making amends is also part of almost all 12 step programs, unless "when to do so would injure them or others."

I know when I offer forgiveness or seek it I am humbled.

When I'm wrong, clinging to misguided  notions of a need to "preserve your (my) reputation" at all costs, or by simply being stubborn, are poor options

Two words seldom used in our language have THE most powerful meaning and impact

"I'm sorry"

Friends

This has NOTHING to do with a bar or TV show of the same name, well mostly.  I'll admit to having a few friends, people I can talk with on any topic, share ideas with, break bread with, etc.

On Facebook I have a LOT of "friends" though some are really businesses or organizations there are only a handful I could call and say "Lets go for coffee,"  & I'm fine with that.

My close friends, those I know in real life, have changed over time as all things do.

One person who was my best friend: we worked together, went to church together, hit the gym together moved very far away.  I mean oceans away.  Prior to email, we'd write real letters and up until a move about 4 years ago, I kept three stacks of those "AIR MAIL" envelopes with letters from him.

Now, he sends out a Group letter via email and that's OK.  I've moved too.
Having moved a 1000 miles from where I lived for 40+ years,  finding new ones took time and I'm glad I took it.

The small circle of friends I have now fits in just right

I've also learned  "The only way to have a friend is to be one" - Emerson